Grudge Report: New World Order – Hitman vs Superman
Saturday, July 7, 2012 will forever live as a day in infamy. At Piedmont Dragway two grudge racing superheroes were locked in a race battle of epic proportions. While the event was billed as the New World Order – New World Dominance, most dismissed the highly provocative branding of
this event as the words of just another promoter trying to hype yet another grudge show. However, Mr. Hill, CEO of Hitman Promotions, may
have turned out to be more of a prophet than any would have ever given him credit. His words may have even come back to haunt him.
The top billing of the day had The Mighty One — Mighty Joe Young and his 1969 nitrous oxide-aided Pro Modified Camaro — going to absolute war with the Hitman himself, Mr. Michael Hill with his own 1969 nitrous oxide-aided Camaro. Aside from the cars and the teams, most importantly, we had the drivers, the pilots, the captains of the cockpit.Most thought, and rightly so, that this race would come down to the occupancy of the space between the steering wheel and the seat. So in the main event of the day, all eyes were glued on the two superheroes of grudge — the Hitman and Superman.
The Hitman is Mr. Mike Hill of course, hailing from Atlanta, Ga. and world renowned for his impressive grudge racing record of yesteryear.
In the days gone by, the Hitman was the man in grudge racing, until he semi-retired and graduated onto fields of a different ilk. Most recently, he’s been tearing up the asphalt all around the country as a well-respected member of the ADRL circuit in the pro-nitrous category. Equally, he’s always a finals threat in other notable Pro Mod action, such as the World Street Finals, which is held in Orlando, Florida, in late fall of each year.
On this day, Hill would match is 1969 fire-breathing Camaro up against the equally lethal ’69 Camaro of team Mighty Joe Young. The Mighty One, as the team is more affectionately known, has at its disposal, their super-tuner Mr. Ronnie Garland. He is, to those in the grudge world, better known as Superman.
(Editors Note: Language may be NSFW)
For years, Superman has been roving around pit-sides protecting pistons from scorching and chassis’ from flexing. He too is of ADRL fame and fortune and hailing from the Tarheel state — city of Greensboro — deep in the heart of North Carolina. When it comes down to who you gotta’ ride with when it’s all on the line, you can list them on one hand, but near the top of any list would be the Superman!
The Hitman versus The Superman, too bad that after this one, only one MAN could survive and stand. The only question is would it be the Hitman or the Superman.
All day long the highly charged crowd anxiously awaited the outcome of this much-anticipated matchup. Finally, both cars did long smoky funny car-type burnouts and each then went through the pre-stage ritual of motor burps and nitrous purges in order to attain maximum performance out of these fire-breathing beasts.
His purge button was stuck. Or was it? Was this a rouse to throw the usually deadly Hitman off of his “Starting Line A-Game” or was it genuine?
Some say it was a ploy, some say it was legit. This objective reporter cannot unequivocally say either way, but I do know the facts. The Hitman rushed in on top of the Superman, and he would later say that this move was intentional to try and take the Superman out of his own comfort zone. I don’t know what kind of light the Superman cut, but whatever it was, he left second. Generally, second is not good; not good at all, but in this case second equals first. Allow me to explain: the only way leaving second is good is when the other guy leaves on the red.
That’s right — the Hitman gave it away and cheated a park full of excited fans out of what could have been a thrilling side-by-side super-match. As it is, the two cars roared down 660-feet side by side until the Hitman realized he had given it away at the starting line and gave up the ghost just before the finish stripe. All I could say was Wow, Wow, Wow! The Man, at least for now, is Superman; although the Hitman vows a return in the not too distant future…stay tuned!
This is Prostock Joe and Now You Know What I Know!